The Land of Y'all

Recap on the Tennessee trip:

Thursday -- Flew with Mom from Seattle to Salt Lake, Salt Lake to Atlanta, and after a lengthy engine repair, Atlanta to Nashville.

Started reading "The Glorious Deception" about William Robinson, a magician who masqueraded quite successfully as Chung Ling Soo in the early 20th century. The history of illusions and artists is so fascinating. This was like a sequel to "Carter Beats the Devil", only non-fiction. I love using misdirection in stage fights, and it's amazing to see how far someone can take this concept to convince an audience of something.

Got into Nashville, called my sister and asked for the directions to the nearest Sonic. Cranked up the A/C on the rental car and headed to Clarksville. Stopped at Sonic, rolled down the window to order, and melted in the god-awful humidity while we waited for our cherry limeade to arrive. I lived in Tulsa during my freshman year of high school, walking distance from a Sonic. The cherry limeades were simple yet phenomenal and sooooo refreshing. I always like having one when I visit that part of the country.

Got to Mary's house and had a quick visit before crawling into bed. Mary's done wonders decorating the place. She's someone who can take five dollars and create miracles out of hardware store remnants. The living room is a Victorian/Egyptian theme, the kitchen is Wedgwood blue, the bathroom is purple, Kaylee's room is covered with Hello Kitty drawings -- even on the floor! TJ's room is Nascar heaven, and Mary and Troy's bedroom is dark mauve. It all looks fantastic. Mary has three little dogs and a cat. They all got excited about visitors and seranaded us before bed.

Friday -- went to IHOP for brunch. Mary has always been very gregarious and charming. I could see she was really in her element at a pancake house in the South. She knew tons of folks there and made friends with the rest. It was like that all weekend, too! We continued on to Dunbar Caves, a place I had been hoping to revisit since my last trip. We got to the ranger station for the 1:00 tour, and found he had already left. We caught up with him, but he wouldn't let us join the group. Argh. We went back to Mary's house to meet up with her husband. After dinner we drove to Gatlinburg for the weekend. Troy stayed at home.

We laughed and sang along to songs in the car. It was a good time. We met Freaky Hurricane Guy at a rest stop. He was all worked up about the latest hurricane headed for the East Coast. He claimed to be some kind of an expert on tropical storms. Then he told us about how he's a mechanic making six figures and he's got a wife and six daughters at home. We all politely edged to the rental car, got in and made sure he wasn't following. Kaylee and TJ begged me to tell them funny stories about when mom, Uncle Talbot and I were kids. I didn't know we were so entertaining!

Gatlinburg is in the Smoky Mountains, seven miles from Pigeon Forge. Pigeon Forge is home of Dollywood, a Louise Mandrell show, the Hillbilly Wedding Chapel, Hillbilly Golf, and several outlet stores. Taacky!Gatlinburg is a ski resort town in the winter, and has boutique shops and an aquarium to keep it busy in the summer. Slightly tacky, but not too bad.

Saturday -- had an amazing breakfast at a Chinese restaurant in Gatlinburg. The twice-cooked pork was phenomenal, especially for four bucks. Chatted with the propietor, who had moved from northern China to Beaverton, Oregon and then to Gatlinburg. We meandered around town, checking out the shops and the aquarium. There were lots of sword outlets in town (I'm not kidding!). I bought a $30 katana with a dagger in the handle and schlepped it around in a cardboard box for the afternoon. Actually, TJ schlepped it most of the time. He was awe-struck by an auntie who liked swords. I know a $30 katana is a piece of crap, but I've been wanting a practice weapon. A cheap, blunt katana with a dagger seemed perfect. It could approximate a broadsword, and is light enough for rapier and dagger drills as well. And since it's so cheap, I won't be heartbroken if it gets trashed. We also found a great Cuban place with yummy mango and papaya ice cream, and a wonderful tea shop. Gatlinburg surprised me with its sophistication. I even saw two guys walking down the street holding hands, and nobody batted an eye.

Later in the day we stopped at Auntie Mahalia's and got homemade taffy, caramels and other sweets. We played in the hotel pool, did some miniature golf, and went back to the hotel at about 1:00 a.m. None of us were tired, so we sampled candy and watched Saturday Night Live. Even when we went to bed, we were all talking and giggling, and ended up laughing ourselves to sleep. It was a fun day.

Sunday -- Left Gatlinburg in the morning and headed to the "As Seen on TV" store that my sister wanted to check out. It should have been called "As Seen in a Dumpster" -- very gross and disappointing. We drove on to Sweetwater, Tennessee to see the Lost Sea:

http://www.thelostsea.com/home.htm

It's the second largest underwater lake in the world. I'm big on caves and cavern diving, especially after scuba diving in the cenotes of the Yucatan peninsula. No cave diving at the Lost Sea -- divers were exploring the chambers in the 1970s and had to be rescued when debris trapped then in one area. The lake at the Lost Sea is 75 feet deep. The tour takes folks out in boats to explore the cave, and they've (unwisely) stocked the water with trout. So the place smells like fish and fish food. Plus it's totally fucked up the cave ecosystem. Ahem! It was a neat experience though. And I found out that bat guano was used to make gunpowder during the Civil War. Bat guano is also used in makeup today. Yummy. Before 1860s, the cave was used for rituals and ceremonies by the Cherokee.

My father's family was of Cherokee descent. Although I am not close to him, I liked thinking that my ancestors, my DNA, had been in this vicinity at some point in the past and had somehow affected change in the area. So now I've been to all my known ancestral homelands -- from Mom's side the Netherlands, Ireland, England, and now, from Dan's side, the Smoky Mountains.

Outside the caves, an elderly gentleman was sitting on a bench with a tiny white pup. We went over to oooh and ahhh over the little guy. He explained that his granddaughter had just got the pooch that day. The granddaughter came over a few minutes later and asked us if we would like to keep the puppy. She already had other dogs, and had taken it from a family who was giving away puppies at a dam a few miles down the road. She was worried that they were going to throw the pups in the water if they didn't find new homes. God, this was so heartbreaking. I really wished I could have taken him in. At least I know he'll be alright with such a conscientious person looking out for him.

On Monday morning we had a long goodbye and headed back to Seattle. The gal at the check-in counter at Delta wasn't at all perturbed when I said I wanted to check in a sword. Whew!

I miss the kids, the laughter and the cameraderie already. I sure wish my sister lived closer.